Letter from a damned. I miss you.

I guess it's never too late to say it. Oh, honey, I know it's never too late to think of you. 

If I could only tell you how desperate I feel. How lonely I feel. How colds my nights are whenever you're not in them. If I could only explain to you the way I felt when I found out I had screwed up everything. Oh, sweetheart, I could never live long enough to make it up to you. I could never live long enough to forgive myself for making you suffer. Have I said that I love you? I do, even when it seems like I don't. I love you every minute of every day. I've loved you in every moment of every night and in every dream or nightmare that had crossed my mind. I love you with all my strenght, with each one of my breaths, with each one of my tears. I love you with all I have in me and there's nothing I could do to avoid it. 

Even here, in the darkest place of the world, even knowing this letter will probably never reach you, I can't help myself from writing you. I miss you. As true as the sky is blue, I miss you. As real as hell, I don't deserve you. But oh, I love you, I sure do. And everything I did, I did it for you, to give you all you deserve. I'm sorry, honey. I never get to say goodbye to you. I'm sorry, I never get to give you my last kiss. 

I'm sorry, I'm only destroying myself at doing this but I can't help. It's the only way I feel I'm closer to you and I really need that moment of connection, that moment of closeness, that moment of hapiness in the middle of my night.

Oh, honey, this is senseless. Pointless. Useless. Though, I'm still doing it because I hope someday, somehow, you will read my words and you will think of me and that, by itself, it's enough to keep me breathing another day. 

I love you, my dear, and I'm sorry for everything I'm making you go through. 

I guess this was just because I needed to tell you I still think of you, I still love you, I will always do, and I will find a way to make you smile again. 

I love you, my dear, even if I'm condemned to stay in darkness the rest of my life, I will still love you. I will love you until the last of the stars lose its shine and until the last of the oceans dries. I will love you until I have no life in me and even then, I will still love you.

I miss you. Oh, God, I miss you.

Goodbye, sweetheart. I love you. I miss you. You will be happy again.