Ni ella ni yo pensamos disculparnos por nuestras palabras. No se disculpa el sol aunque queme ni la luna aunque en ocasiones aterre. Yo amo, todo aquello que pueda ser amable, y como me rehúso a esconderme, he aquí mi escape.

7 dic. 2013

I'm losing it.

That one who said important was the intention didn't have any clue of what he was talking about.
That's only something you say so you just don't break the heart of the person whose intention you're talking about.

I guess it was my fault. Because I wanted to look brave, to make you all think I didn't need anyone.
I said I wasn't afraid of nightmares, so when I climbed to your bed scared of my own night dreams you just thought I was doing it to bother you. Because that's just as bad as I am.
And when I fell and hurt myself, you would never come running to give me a 'healer' kiss because I knew better than that and could take care of my own wounds.
and when someone said I just didn't look like anything good or desirable (and desirable as something you would want to be and not as the passionate meaning), you didn't even say a word. You didn't care I was broken because I had always said I didn't care about those stuff but .... what kind of teenager doesn't care about it?
What kind of kid isn't afraid of dark and nightmares?
What kind of kid doesn't want to be kissed when she gets hurt?
And now I'm paying the price.
It all comes with a price.
See?
Now that I want to get closer, the door's shut on my face.
Now that I seriously need something, I can't make the words come out and can't make you listen.
Now I don't have you.
How could I complain? I was so busy trying not to get hurt that I just didn't realize I was letting you out and you weren't trying to get in.
Now you don't know me, my tastes, my preferences or dreams. You just don't know the simplest things about me, which is why you are never fully satisfied with me.
And I start to lose it.
I'm starting to lose my grip on myself and my pieces are not coming back to its place.
I'm being torn and I can't fix myself. Neither can you.
Now I'm realizing you weren't actually trying and I wasn't actually not trying and it all falls.
The sky's falling.
The earth's shaking.
The sea's drying.
I'm dying.

And all I can think of is 'why can't you just stay on my side during what's supposed to be an important date'?
Worse, why can't you just accept me and love me the way I am?
Just like that?

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Deja que tus gritos también sean llevados por el viento.